Cubs Trounce Fake Rivals, Run Irrelevant Outcome Streak to Eleven

I suppose some might take umbrage with me calling the White Sox “fake rivals,” but when it’s limited to a handful of games in pursuit of a contrived trophy and barbs between a few fans, is the rivalry really real. I mean, really? The intra-city matchup is more of a gas-station novelty, like Mexican jumping beans and French Ticklers.

If Cubs/Sox is real to you, that’s your prerogative. As a fan of gimmicks and gadgets, I’m cool with it in kinda the same way I’m cool with going to my wife’s family reunion and having her uncle hand me a can of Beast Ice. Just kidding, Frank, you know I love you.

When the two teams squared off on Saturday, however, something was different, buy which I mean there was even less on the line than the BP Crosstown Cup. Not only is it Spring Training, but the Cubs were playing the first of two split squad contests. Unless, you know, you put stock in a game in which 12 of 16 position players and four of five pitchers won’t be on the 25-man roster when the Cubs break camp.

Hey, but it’s cool that the Cubs showed further signs of an offensive awakening in the 9-2 beatdown. Then again, 4 of the 7 Cubs RBI (two more runs scored on a balk and a wild pitch) came from the trio of John Andreoli, Kristopher Negron, and Munenori Kawasaki. A win is a win though, right?

Cue the unnecessary feeling of superiority from some Cubs fans, followed by the inevitable retaliatory taunts involving 108 years. Ain’t fake rivalries grand?

The Cubs themselves will have little time to revel in the sweet sauce of victory, as they attempt to run their irrelevant Spring Training outcome streak to 12 with a game against the Dodgers Saturday night.