Casey Close Drops Epic Diss Track on Orioles

Casey Close Statement Regarding Dexter Fowler: pic.twitter.com/z4wQ8q312U

— excel sports (@excelsm) February 25, 2016

For those of you hampered by social media restrictions on your work computers (which, shame on you — just kidding, this is way more important than whatever lame project you’d otherwise be busy with), here’s the full text from the statement Casey Close — Dexter Fowler’s agent — released regarding the reports of his client reaching a deal with the Baltimore Orioles:

In my 25 years in this business, never before have I witnessed such irresponsible behavior on so many fronts. Both the Orioles front office and members of the media were so busy recklessly spreading rumors that they forgot or simply chose not to concern themselves with the truth. The Orioles’ willful disregard of collectively bargained rules governing free agency and the media’s eager complicity in helping the Orioles violate those rules are reprehensible. Dexter Fowler never reached agreement with the Orioles and did not come close to signing with the club; any suggestion otherwise is only a continuation of an already disturbing trend.

Mic. Dropped.

This was Kool Moe Dee parking his Jeep on LL Cool J’s red Kangol on the cover of How Ya Like Me Now. It was Ice Cube calling out NWA and Jerry Heller on No Vaseline. It was Tupac eviscerating Biggie and Bad Boy with Hit ‘Em Up. It was B. Rabbit telling everyone at The Shelter about Papa Doc’s true identity — and no, I don’t mean exposing Sam Wilson as Falcon. I can just picture an Excel PR intern sitting at the keyboard like a producer in the booth, bobbing her head as MC Close dropped his 16 face-melting bars.

The Orioles have a bit of a history of backing out of deals and not exactly being the best team in the world for agents to work with. Even then, the scorched-earth tactics above seem a bit heavy-handed. Then again, lost in all the warm fuzzies of Fowler’s unexpected return to the Cubs was the fact Close’s client had potentially passed up more than $20 million in walking away from Baltimore. The sticking point appeared to be Fowler’s demand of an early opt-out, but the circumstances are still a bit curious.

By getting out in front of this and using some very strong accusatory language, Close is spinning the narrative in Fowler’s favor. And as any hip-hop-head can tell you, you’ve gotta come hard and go over the top to really put your opponent off his game. Regardless of who wins this potential war of words, the Cubs came out on top. They ended up getting Dexter Fowler back for less than the qualifying offer and pulled off one hell of an emotional coup.

Your turn, Dan Duquette. Yo, DJ, spin that beat!