Wondering Where You Too Can Get a Loud Suit Like the Cubs?

Joe Maddon loves to keep his players and staff loose by jazzing up road trips with particular themes. The pajama jammie jam was a big hit last year when the Cubs came back from LA and they’ve had various other dress codes imposed as well. The eccentric skipper was at it again over the weekend, announcing that the series against Pittsburgh would be a “minimalist zany suit trip.”

What does that mean, exactly?

“It’s not your typical Hugo Boss thing, not Italian cut by any means,” Maddon explained. “Mine will feature tulips.”

Maddon happened upon the novelty clothing site Shinesty.com, which sells roughly eleventy zillion different outfits of varying loudness, while researching ideas for this year’s themes. The header image features a guy in a star-spangled sport coat holding a 40 oz of Colt 45, which is pretty much all you need to know right there. But if that’s not enough, just read their tagline:

“No one takes a man in a funny suit as a drunkard. That’s a lie. You’re going to be drinking in these bad boys, and there’s no way around it. These are party suits. They also grab the bartender’s attention with one glance – shaving minutes off your time waiting for a brew pop.”

America, y’all. Pretty sure those words were written in invisible ink in the margins of the Declaration of Independence. Or they should have been anyway.

This isn’t just a one-time thing, either. Maddon insists that his players follow the dress code at all times on the road trip.

“If you’re seen at any time without part of your suit on, it’s a $100 fine — unless you’re working out,” the skipper said. “Like going to the ballpark, in the hotel, going out for Starbucks in the morning, if you’re seen without any part of the suit — the coat, tie, pair of pants, shoes, socks, some method or form of the outfit. If you’re seen without it, it’s a fine.”

The fines collected will go to the clubhouse guys, so I’m sure they’re hoping the players will ditch the suits posthaste.

Stuff like this is fun, but the Cubs have got some serious business to take care of with three games in Pittsburgh before returning home for four more with the Nationals. Not that we don’t already have a good idea of what this team can be, but the upcoming stretch of games is really going to show us how they stack up against the other top teams in the NL.

And that, my friends, should be at least as fun as a $99 suit festooned with leopards.